Conflict - It's Part of Communication!

Introduction

This photo says it all.....how do we navigate conflict when it feels like it hurts?

Conflict can be a daunting and intimidating concept, especially if you have had sub-optimal experiences with it. Miscommunication can run rampant and can even lead to a loss of trust if you do not approach it in the right way. Some people find it hard to have conversations that involve conflict but it all depends on your attitude toward the situation. There are many different methods of solving conflict and you can pick and choose which type you feel would be best for you depending on the person and the type of situation you're dealing with.

‍

We hear about Emotional Intelligence - but how does it relate to conflict?

Emotional intelligence is a key factor in improving your conflict resolution skills. You must be self-aware to recognise and understand how you're feeling about the situation before you approach the person with your issue. If you are feeling upset or angry going into that conversation it will be unproductive and leave both parties feeling worse and you will have a much harder time solving the issue. But if you give yourself time to reflect and self-regulate your emotions about the situation, and think about what you want to say, it can be a positive experience.

You also must have the ability to empathise with the other party. Thinking about how they may be feeling about the situation can be productive because you don't know what they are thinking unless you ask. You do not have to automatically assume that they have it out for you and there may have even been a misunderstanding somewhere along the way. Detach yourself from the situation and look at it objectively or even get an unbiased opinion from a friend, family member, or another coworker who knows the other party.

‍

One model of Conflict we can consider...

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model explains that two different dimensions must work together in order to face conflict; assertiveness and cooperation. When combined, there are five different styles of approaching conflict:

** Competing (high assertiveness, low cooperation) - sometimes known as a SHARK

** Avoiding (low assertiveness, low cooperation) - sometimes known as a TURTLE

** Accommodating (low assertiveness, high cooperation) - sometimes known as a TEDDY BEAR

** Collaboration (high assertiveness, high cooperation) - sometimes known as an OWL

** Compromising (medium assertiveness, medium cooperation) - sometimes known as a FOX

‍

But which one works best?

There is no "perfect" style as each one has its strengths and weaknesses and can be a good choice depending on certain variables - the personality type of both individuals, your position in the workplace hierarchy, the problem itself, and interpersonal relationships. If it's an issue that needs to be solved immediately, you may need to use a more assertive style.

If you have a close relationship with them you will have to be more collaborative in order not to break trust with them. Compromising is usually the best approach because it uses some of both dimensions but can sometimes lead to further conflict if both parties are not completely satisfied in which case collaborating may be the best approach if you have the time and resources to put into making things work between you. Or maybe you come to realise with your reflection on the situation that the issue is trivial or when the potential damage of confronting a conflict outweighs the benefits of its resolution and so you choose to avoid it entirely, coming to a point where you feel you can move on.

Each situation is different and using this mode to critically make your decision on your approach is vital.

‍

Conclusion:

Conflict resolution is an important tool to have in the workplace and can be a great stimulus for personal and interpersonal growth. Learning to use it effectively can improve understanding, build trust, reduce stress, and enhance communication and relationships. It also fosters a more positive and productive environment.

‍

‍

Photo by Anna Shvets: https://www.pexels.com/photo/two-people-shaking-hands-6899143/

‍